carpe diem

live richly.
make it count.
carpe diem.
make the most out of today.

i hear and see all these quotes and maybe it's just as well. it seems we are bombarded by these messages from forwarded emails we get from our friends, in cutesy postcards with kittens on it, on stuff in shop windows, in blogs and other things.

but what does it all mean, really?

i wake up in the morning, play with my cats, prepare breakfast for me and my husband, clean what i can, get ready for work, make sure i get my work done, eat well, exercise when i'm not too lazy, meet up with friends or go home to relax, sleep then do it all over again. sometimes i might feel like butting my head against a wall, or i might be pissed and angry at someone dear to me or just plain bored. i might go through the motions of my day to day, in and out the flow of traffic of cars, people, ideas, sound bytes, pleasure-moments and everything that may occupy the ticking seconds of my day... i might reflect on where i am in life especially when im jonesing cause my friends have more money than me, a higher status in life or a new toy i can't afford... i might be dissatisfied and declare that i should finally learn how to paint or make mosaics or baking cakes or take that road trip to that off the beaten track restaurant i've always wanted to go to -- but in the end, i feel like my life has gained varying shades and planes of perspective. despite that dreaded feeling that it wont be long before i start subtracting years from my actual age pretending to be younger or that fear that that ghost of a line i see under my eye will actually be very visible to other people -- i feel a sense of blessedness.

there is a passion in me (which might be taken to further heights if i did enroll in a salsa class, i guess i'll have to wait with bated breath) that comes out in everything i do. when i cook for my husband even if it's a flop, when i listen to my nieces talk about girly things, when i argue with my boss about this and that, when i read and imagine and have conversations with myself, when i dream about retiring in a beach house facing the sea, when i love. oh, when i love.

i can't help it. i love fiercely. deeply and with a passion i sometimes feel might not be contained within my body. sunsets. trees. my family. my friends. my work. books. music. art. poetry. all this. and more. so much more.

so yes, i guess i do know what it means to all those aphorisms. living richly, making it count, no day but today. i guess more than i originally thought i did.

a bit much

work has been occupying too much of my time. i don't want to complain seeing as i enjoy the work i do BUT times like these i just want to hide under a rock, lay still like a lizard under the sun and not move. my brain hurts from thinking, my eyes are constantly tired from lack of sleep and i feel like it's always rush hour. there hasn't been much time to do stuff thats really close to my heart like fix up our new home, have people over for a proper house-warming, honeymoon with my husband, try out my kitchen aid, learn a new hobby, explore....there's always so much to explore how i wish i could. a part of me wants march to come soon so this hell of a time can be over already but much needs to be done for my march event which i am not totally prepared for. aaaaahhhhh!!! please, please, some peace and quiet for a change. i remain a mere foot soldier... for now.