UNBROKEN: WORLD WAR II STORY OF SURVIVAL, RESILIENCE, AND REDEMPTION

It’s difficult for me to find a non-fiction book about World War II that can hold my attention – most of the time it’s a stodgy history book full of cold facts and military lingo, sometimes the viciousness and inhumanity takes the forefront that it’s too much to bear.  Along comes Unbroken, a shining piece of non-fiction by Laura Hillenbrand, which tells the story of Louie Zamperini, Olympian, WWII bombardier, Prisoner of War, and ultimately, a survivor.  Louie’s story is nothing short of a miracle. He competed in track in the 1936 Olympic Games, breaking every record during his time but while he was training for the 1940 games, war broke out in Europe and Asia and before long, he joined the Army Air Corps as a bombardier. His plane crashed in the Pacific and, along with 2 other airmen, drifted out to sea on a life raft for 47 days enduring, heat, cold, starvation, thirst and most of all, sharks. After this ordeal, the real fight for his life came when he was captured by the Japanese as a Prisoner of War. What he endured along with thousands of POWs in the Pacific would be the darkest moment of his life. At the hands of the Japanese captors, the POWs suffered dehumanizing torture and abuse, atrocities that would test any human being’s spirit.  Though Louie’s story is heartbreaking, Hillenbrand’s masterful writing is bright, airy and full of heart. The extensive research and interviews conducted lend an authenticity to her writing but all in all, Unbroken reads like a novel that you can’t put down because you’d want to know how it all ends. How, despite man’s capacity to inflict suffering in others, he can endure it, survive it, and come out the winner.

Gunn's Golden Rules

I've liked Tim Gunn since the first season of Project Runway. I used to just like Tim Gunn, the character and even loved the spoof of Tim that Mad TV did because I thought that he was added to the show for flavor and flair. But after watching several seasons I've liked Tim Gunn for who he is, the credibility that he brings to the show, his candidness, rapport and in some cases, "non-rapport" with some of the designers. He is a respected source of technical information but more often than not, it boils down to a question of style which he definitely knows something about. But more than that, Tim just oozes with "realness" that can't be faked.


Upon reading Gunn's Golden Rules, his newest book on how to make your personal life work, his uncompromising view of what's right and wrong is clearly evident. He dishes out the dirt on the divas in the fashion industry in trying to debunk that sense of entitlement some people in high places have. He rats out even his mother and father in trying to share nuggets of wisdom in being true to yourself, having manners and just being nice. He takes us inside his personal life to illustrate what to do when we are invited to a party, when we have guests over and even when we are being taken advantage of by our nearest and dearest. Indeed no one is spared, not even himself. 


He holds an engaging conversation with the reader and there were times when I laughed out loud because the words on the pages came alive and I could almost hear him speak. He has come a long way and he is lucky that success came to him late because he takes everything with a grain of salt and he is old enough to know that anything can be given or taken away in a blink of an eye.  What he is is grateful. And considerate. And polite. And real. And of course, well-dressed. Read this and you'll learn some of the ways to "make it work" in real life.

Missing Mom

Gwen Eaton was the mother we all know, love, and happen to ignore. She is warm, kind, overly concerned and not at all demanding. She is independent and a certified homemaker, baking her own bread, being active in the church and an overall good samaritan. Nikki Eaton didn't think much of her mother, she loved her for sure but she couldn't wait to get away from the small town she grew up in. So eager was she to start her own life and to make it big out there. Adulthood doesn't make it easy to keep in touch with her mother what with her many responsibilities, love affairs, work duties and the big life that she was leading. 

Then one day after a Mother's Day celebration that was memorable for the wrong reasons, Gwen Eaton was gone. Nikki, the black sheep of the family and Clare, the eldest daughter go through the motions of burying their mother and dealing with their grief in different ways. Clare takes charge and tries to control her surroundings by being a superwoman while Nikki just wants to bawl and sleep. Before long, she goes back to her Mother's house, bakes her bread recipes, dives into her old photos and letters to discover a woman that she did not bother much to get to know. A woman who was called "Feather" when she was young because of her light disposition, a cheerleader and a popular girl and ultimately a great friend. Nikki's grief overpowers her and she stays in her mother's house to feel her, to connect with her and to save her soul.  

Joyce Carol Oates' novel is an ode to all mothers and this is her own unique story which she tells in a warm and uncomplicated way. Grief is a weird thing and we are all unique in our ways of dealing with it. Nikki was able to find herself while she put herself in her mother's shoes, continuing her good work and trying to be the woman that she was and I think in the end, this could be her mother's gift to her as well as Nikki's gift to her mother. This is a book that we all should read before it's too late.

Five Quarters of the Orange

Joanne Harris has been a favorite author of mine ever since I read Sleep, Pale Sister. Her stories evoke a magical feeling with the right tinge of nostalgia. I was able to pick up Five Quarters of the Orange in a discount store and I was so happy with my find but couldn't for the life of me imagine how it could have ended up there. Surely her books are flying off the shelves? Well, that's a different matter.

This novel revolves around Framboise, a woman in her sixties recalling her childhood in a small French town during the German occupation. With her brother, sister and dour mother, they eke out a life not without hardships. Framboise is a complex character, as a nine year old she is precocious, angry though wanting of affection from a cold mother who had nothing good to say about her and their little lives. She would use an orange to induce her mother's bad spells so they would be left to their own devices while their mother retired to her bed for a long time. She was very smart and crafty often times besting her older brother and sister in games and dares using her steely determination and will power.  As a sixty year old, she grudgingly sees herself as a woman that inherited her mother's negative traits. She is scared of being close to her two daughters and would rather live an anonymous life without complications which means allowing no one to get too close.

As Framboise goes back from present to past you can already sense an underlying darkness in her story. Her past is rife with secrets and mischievous acts but Harris won't tell the reader right away. You have to travel with Boise back to her hometown where she puts up a small cafe using her dead mother's recipes that were compiled in an old album which was her inheritance.  There are many things that she is soon able to decode from her inheritance. Did her mother wish it so? Harris reveals them slowly and sweetly, much like wrapping the last piece of delectable chocolate.

Parallel to her reminisces is the story of the German soldiers which the children would trade information with, unwittingly setting off  wheels for a bigger and more evil act. There are so many revelations, insights and questions that need answers and my general feeling while reading the novel is that I wanted to consume it right away only to hold on to the very pages in the hope that the story wouldn't end. Such is Harris' magic in weaving a magical romantic tale where even the ugly, the hopeless and the evil can be rendered good, beautiful and like a crepe, sweet.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

I am not a fan of horror fiction... or maybe I just never read the good type of horror story to really hook me in. That is until, Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury. The story starts with 2 boys, a lightning rod salesman and the beginnings of a fierce lightning storm. What they get instead is a traveling carnival, complete with weirdos, freaks, rides, a mirror maze and a carousel. The 2 boy are naturally drawn to the carnival but they start to notice different things. A calliope that eerily plays into the night, a carousel that rides backwards,  a mirror maze that sucks in people to reveal horrible things and finally, the proprieters, Cooger and Dark who are just a bit too sinister for their taste.

This story will raise the hairs on your arms, it has none of the cotton candy sweetness that carnivals seem to evoke but the darker side that holds a promise of evil and corruption.  And things unnamed that follow you home and call your name and lure you with the fulfillment of your innermost desires.  It is also a triumphant story, not in the cheesy way that we are used to, but in a way that only Bradbury can pull off. In a strong, unrelenting way that makes you want to wish that his words would not end. His storytelling is one of the best that I have read, the way he plays with words, describes details, gives smells to sights and voices to noises. I cannot wait to read more Bradbury to keep his savory words spread out like a feast before my eyes.

The Shadow Princess

A long time ago I have fallen under Indu Sundaresan's spell in her storytelling of the Mughal Empire. Under her expert prose I became fascinated with this slice of India's history especially the women she wrote about.  Mehrunissa, the twentieth wife of Emperor Jahangir, was the main character in her novels The Twentieth Wife and Feast of Roses.  And so I picked up her new book The Shadow Princess thinking it was the story of Arjumand, Mehrunissa's niece who married her stepson Khurram and was after the throne even while Jahangir, his father, was still alive. Because of this powerplay, Jahangir and Mehrunissa sent Khurram on exile. But as history would have it, Khurram became Emperor Shah Jahan, the emperor suceeding Jahangir and Arjumand became Mumtaz Mahal, his 3rd and most beloved wife.

Shadow Princess starts at Mumtaz Mahal's deathbed where she is about to give birth to her fourteenth child. With her is Jahanara and Rosharanara her 2 teenage daughters. Her final wish is to be with her husband, Emperor Shah Jahan, so inlove and inseparable were they. Upon her death, the Emperor commissioned work on a lavish tomb to house her remains which would become the Taj Mahal.  What I love about Mughal court life which is exquisitely described by Sundaresan in her novels, is the various lavish ways they lived their everyday lives. From the jewels in their hair, face, buildings, the imperial elephants and peacocks that would accompany them when they traveled from one place to the next, rose=strewn marble floors they would walk on and the Persian carpets that would adorn their walls and floors.

The Shadow Princess does not disappoint. But it is really the story of Jahanara, the Emperor's most beloved and trusted daughter who became the head of the Imperial Zenana at such a young age, who advised her father, who commanded her family and who was given an unrivaled income of jewels, land and money from the Imperial Treasury. Jahanara who was not allowed to marry but who was loyal to their father until the bitter end. She is a strong force to be reckoned with and yet imprisoned by her high status in court, unable to marry the man she loved and forever relegated to the back of the throne because she was a woman.  And posterity was not good to her as she was always the Shadow Princess.

Escape

I was watching videos on CNN.com the other night and was greatly disturbed by Anderson Cooper's coverage of Warren Jeff's release. Jeffs is the prophet of the FLDS, the more conservative branch of the Mormon church that still practices polygamy and he was charged for rape and as an accessory to rape.  However, due to some legal technicalities that had no bearing on his innocence or guilt, he was released.

This is when I remembered the book I randomly picked off the shelf just last month which was Escape by Carolyn Jessop -- it is her retelling of her life inside FLDS church. Born to a religious family, she writes about her normal childhood in a family with 2 mothers and many siblings. Being raised inside the FLDS she never questioned the ultra-conservative ways and teachings even when her older sister ran away to escape an arranged marriage. She believed that things would be different for her, she had plans of going to college, having a job while still practicing her religious and polygamous beliefs. Then at 18 she was forced to marry a 55 year old man to be his fourth wife. In her heart she knew that this was what the Prophet wanted and it was right but she was in the middle of school and she was hoping to finish and when she met her future husband, she knew that things wouldn't go her way. The politics inside the family were more than she could bear -- according to their faith, a man should not have any favorites among his wives but in the Jessop house, one wife obviously held sway over the others. This wife made it sure that all the other wives and the children turned against Carolyn especially when it was her "turn" to spend the night with the husband.  Inspite of all the home problems, she endured and struggled to have children as having kids was like having power in a polygamous house, she "kept sweet", tried to ignore the favorite wife and just concentrate on her children and her studies.

After a few years she began seeing a shift in the church's ways, the Prophet of the FLDS was dying and his son, Warren Jeffs was slowly taking over. She noticed that Jeffs was assigning girls as young as 13 to be married to men as old as 80, Jeffs also started to close all the schools as if the community was being closed off  to the rest of the world.  With this she began to realize that the church she loved so much was under the power of one man, Warren Jeffs who held so much power over the community.

There are so many twists and turns to this story that just left my mouth agape and my eyes as big as plates. This is her story of escape from an abusive husband, a dictator for a Prophet and a brainwashed household and community. It is so hard to comprehend that something like this could happen in the heart of America. A community closed off from the rest of the world where polygamy is the norm and marrying 14 year old girls to 70 year old men were dictated by a "Prophet." What bothered me the most was when Carolyn successfully escaped the clutches of the FLDS to join relatives that have escaped too, her children turned against her. That's how deep and ingrained their church's teachings were that they feared the wrath of God and the Prophet because they were allowing themselves to enjoy life a bit.  It's a spine-tingling story and you will feel so appreciative of the freedoms that we have in our everyday life.

And now, Warren Jeffs is free again. He is free to terrorize, abuse and dictate over the lives of so many families under the FLDS church. But what's more disturbing is how the FLDS will view this turn of events -- that their Prophet has won over the clutches of evil, which is, the rest of the world.

Delivering Happiness

Zappos is a company that recently came upon my radar -- after learning their corporate values I knew that they had something isnpiring going on. Although it has been around for a little over a decade, for me, its presence was eclipsed by other giants like Amazon and Google. I would always ogle at the google office and think about how much more productive I would be if the office was like that, if the people were as creative or if the food was free. wink. But beyond their achievements, what their office, cafes and restaurants looked like, I didn't really know what google as a company stood for.

Having been a banker for 6 years, core values and corporate culture were pounded on our heads...empowerment, integrity, truth.... but all these were in the head and not necessarily translated to what we did in our everyday. It was something I heard during townhall meetings and ra-ra-ra sessions. I don't think our corporate culture was very empowering -- you could only do so much and under the watchful eyes of people from the region who in turn were under the watchful eyes of people in the NY head office. There wasn't always truth because we were rocked by a scandal that included a deposed Philippine president. So there were a lot of gaps between what was written on paper and passed around to the newhires and what was actually happening in the office. This was fine by me, I didn't expect anything better or worse I just took it for what it was and I guess for a multinational company, there are tougher problems to hack than living and breathing the corporate culture. And with that, I stopped thinking of corporate culture. Until now.

Delivering Happiness is the book written by Zappos' CEO, Tony Hsieh.  In here he details his path to Zappos, from his earliest entrepreneurial endeavors (worm farm), his life in middle school, Harvard (where he was, what you would call, a bum) then finally on his way to making his millions, eventually losing them and getting on track again. Through his storytelling he peppers the book with what he's learned as a kid with a head full of money-making schemes, as a delinquent college student , as a bored millionaire, as an aspiring poker player, as an investor and finally and most importantly, as the CEO of Zappos.

Most of the book talks about how Zappos came to be and how it is what it is now. What struck me the most is how they evolved from a company that was selling shoes online to a company that vowed to deliver the best customer service in the world. And they did it simply by striving to be as happy a workforce as possible. They are committed to WOWing their customers -- and by customers they mean everyone. Their partners, people buying from them, people selling to them, etc. They were just sincerely nice to EVERYONE. Now how do you do that?

The second thing that struck me was that from the ground up, they came up with their own company culture and they made sure that they did it every single day.  They all took part in it. There was no memo handed down from upper management to the staff, they all put in their two cents worth and had a hand in it. I don't even remember exactly what those 10 were but if you can go thru your company's culture with a confidence and conviction like that then I suggest you go write a book too. 

What Zappos did and continues to do is remarkable and inspiring. I recommend it to everyone, bosses and foot soldiers alike because it talks about working not only with passion but with purpose and  I should know that if you have those 2 then getting up in the morning on a Monday won't be hard at all to do.

Into The Wild

What a serendipitous find. A writer wanted to borrow a book I've never heard of, the book was even made into a movie which I haven't heard of as well. The book was Into The Wild which ended up on my desk for a long perio of time -- the writer ended up not even borrowing it and of course it ended up being read by me.

Into The Wild is Jon Krakauer's account of Chris McCandless' Alaskan Odyssey where he stayed beside the Sushana River, squatting on the remains of a bus that was left there from halted project, for over 100 days alone, with meager supplies, relying on only his wits and Mother Nature. What moved me about this book was the seemingly contradictory character of Chris who was raised in an affluent Virginia suburb to hard-working parents who managed to build a comfortable life for their family and had all the trappings of the good life. Being an above- average student increased his chances of making it "big" someday. And yet he decided that the best way to live his life is to commune with nature, be cut off from his family and be without worldly possessions. Although this is not an original case of upper middle-class guilt, Chris took his fiery ideals to an undeniable extreme. Supplied with lofty theories (not practices) of authors such as Leo Tolstoy, Henry David Thoreau and Jack London, he set out for the wild west, embarking on the adventure of his life knowing in his heart that the ultimate adventure would be to venture out into the Alaskan wilderness alone.

Reading the first couple of chapters in the book, I couldn't helf but feel mad at this young man, how could he just leave without saying goodbye, without telling his parents where he would go, knowing he would be the cause of so much grief? Who does that? Was there malicious intent to hurt his parents so? As I came to get to know him thru Krakauer's prose and from the reactions of people he met while on the road, it became clear to me that it wasn't meanness that led him to do that. He doesn't suffer injustice all too well and could be very unforgiving of weak traits especially of his father who pushed him all his life to excel. He had a genuine heart, a sound mind and indeed, lofty ideals. He touched every single person he met on his vagabond life, and I guess he had an innate light and quality he couldn't help but show. He made a few friends who he managed to keep in touch with. Some strangers he met who knew him as just Alex or Alex McCandless. It didn't matter though if he was with a stranger for a few hours or a few days, those people remembered him and remembered him well. He wouldn't talk of his past life and his family, leaving only an inkling of a dispute that was left unmended. But from his way of speaking and processing thoughts and ideas, the people he met had no doubt that Chris/Alex was a schooled and intelligent young man.

After 2 years of living on the road, assuming a different name, hopping from one place to the next, he finally prepared for his Alaskan Odyssey. Ill-prepared he might have seemed to expert climbers, trekkers and hunters; brash and arrogant he must have looked to the native Alaskan who knew how easily the Alaskan wilderness can snuff out a life, stupid and incompetent he must have appeared to the average person who knew his story -- nonetheless, he stuck it out and was able to live alone in the wilderness for 3 months. He hunted game, ate berries and wild potatoes, and fended for himself. True that with a map he would've realized that he wasn't actually in THE wilderness, true that if he only had a compass he would've been able to get out alive and not die of starvation...all these posits and arguments are true. But he stuck it out. He made a decision and stuck to it and did not compromise. How many of us can say the same thing of ourselves?

One thing stands out in this story of fate, adventure and indomitable spirit -- Chris' heart and mind were one and he couldn't find it in a single fiber of his entire being to live his life any other way.

After finishing the book with tears in my eyes, I searched the net for pictures of Chris. And what I saw, though heartbreaking, gave me pause -- looking into his eyes in the self-portraits he took, in front of the bus, posing with the moose he shot and even his last photo of himself, I can sense an inner peace, a quiet determination and a pure joy that is very rare to find in one lifetime. He died of starvation, alone, possibly after eating moldy seeds that became toxic, which could have sent him to his slow and lonely death. But I am sure that in his last hour when he took stock of his life, he saw it for what it was and he praised God because it was good.

Neverwhere, Gabriel's Gift, Shadow of Doubt

Delayed post -- wrote this on June 1, 2010

The half-year mark. What do I have to show for it?

Well I definitely haven't been writing, here or on any of my journals, notebooks, notepads, etc. Very very bad.

BUT it does not mean that I have stopped reading. I still have although I must admit there was a hiatus right after our wedding. If I can't muster up the courage to list all the things I have done (or haven't done) since the start of the year to prove to myself that 2010 is turning up to be more than mediocre, I will then list what I have read so far to at least make me feel like I haven't been a stupid lazy ass for the last few months.

Graveyard Book -- read this because it was lying around in my house. The book belonged to my niece Martha and I had Neil Gaiman sign it when he was here in March. I must admit that though I was very tired from work and had to get away from any work-related stuff, which included Neil's fiction I still couldn't resist the lure of a boy called Nobody. Nobody or simply Bod, grew up in a graveyard due to mysterious circumstances that could only happen in the cloak of a misty night with a notorious villain present. His parents were ghosts who were alive at the turn of the century, his guardian, a being that is between the living and the dead. This is his story, of trying to live a normal life under very abnormal circumstances. There is the thrill of literally walking with the dead, the lonliness of being different, the happiness in friendship and the adventures one can only find while traipsing in and around a graveyard that time forgot. I am happy to have read this book because in my mind, I was able to bond with my 8-year old niece. It brought back the giddiness of a good story told in the middle of the night.

Gabriel's Gift -- Hanif Kureishi is a novelist whose stories are never a chore to read. He writes plainly and without reservation or guile. His lines make you nod and his characters aren't overly complex even if they are. It's what I like about him. This novella focuses on Gabriel, a talented teenager in the middle of a crisis. He is an average student in school, has one really good friend and has a penchant for talking to his dead twin, Archie. He finds himself in the middle of his warring parents, an alcoholic father who once played in a popular rock band and is still reliving a glorious past and a controlling mother who desperately wants to get away from the constraints of a relationship gone awry. Gabriel has a busy time refereeing his parents, being an obedient son to his mother while taking care of his ailing and lonely father that he doesn't have time to focus on himself and his remarkable gifts. It takes other characters to pay attention to his talents and this turns the story towards a phase of self-discovery and awareness. I would want for my future son to read this story some day.

Neverwhere -- Another fantasy book by Neil Gaiman. This book is Richard Mayhew's story. A person with a very normal life and job, not too many friends, a not-very-nice girlfriend. When he stops to help a girl on the street one day, he finds a world that is very different from the one he knows. This is the world of London below, where the characters are dark, the dangers are real and the power of magic is strong. An angel, a beast, an earl, two assassins are just some of the people he meets. With Door, the girl he helped on London above, he has to help open a door to solve a murder when all the while what he wanted most was to go back normal, frosty London above. Though I don't often read fantasy, I like Neverwhere very much because it's chockful of twists and turns, the plot is unpredictable and the characters always surprise the reader because of their decisions, personalities and various agendas. As always, I am always in awe of Gaiman's work and this book did not disappoint.

Shadow of Doubt: Probing the Supreme Court -- a piece of investigative journalism that was made into a book, Marites Danguilan Vitug is a brave journalist for having written this. The Supreme Court is rarely questioned for the machinations behind its closed doors and the decisions of the Justices is final and must be upheld. The nation regards the third branch of government, the last bulwark of democracy. All parties that seek the final serving of justice appeals to the highest court in the land, so the Supreme Court Justices are supposed to have unquestionable conduct at all times.

So it is very disconcerting to finally know what happens behind the velvet curtains. Corruption, partisanship, flip-flopping of decisions, approving the cases of the rich and landed...all these were exposed by Vitug. This book is so timely as outgoing president GMA appointed the last Chief Justice Corona which unsurprisingly, is not being recognized by President-elect Noynoy Aquino. Corona figures prominently in the book, an Arroyo appointee with a penchant for voting pro-administration and even changing his decisions a few times. For the average person (like me) who does not read the newspaper like she ought, the cases presented are galling in the least. How can we trust the highest court in the land to serve justice when we now know that it can be served with a large helping of corruption?

With the new administration, one can only hope for the best. And I also hope that Vitug has ended a culture of blind trust in the Supreme Court. We should always question, seek answers, make the people accountable for their actions, especially those who are there to uphold the so-called last bulwark of democracy.

Britney: The Unauthorized Biography

Everybody knows all about the pop princess, Britney Spears -- we all know her life and her loves, her songs and her dance moves, her hits and her misses. Reading this book was like reading thru a series of tabloid magazine articles but it was still highly engaging. This unauthorized biography of course starts in Kentwood Louisiana where the young Britney Jean Spears took her first dance lessons at 2 years old which was followed by gymnastics then singing lessons, then talent competitions. At a young age, Britney was already a performer and a perfectionist. Where her friends and cousins who would join her in performances, auditions and contests would still have time to have a childish giggle, she was already so focused and had her eye on the prize. From the time she landed a spot on the Mickey Mouse Club at the age of 11 to the time she signed a record deal with Jive Records at the age of 15, Britney Spears has been a product that has been fashioned and honed under very watchful eyes.

First, there was the Disney group which trained all the Mouseketeers to behave a certain way, not allowing them to be unsupervised in public on the off-chance that they do something to tarnish the wholesome Disney brand. Then, came the production of her first album where her Lolita-esque persona was carefully developed from her preppy albeit midriff-baring shirt and short school-girl skirt costume to her testament of maintaining virginity. And it’s been a roller-coaster ride for her. This book details her ups and downs career-wise and love-wise, how she dealt with the exposure of all her dirty laundry -- every misstep, fashion faux pas, and chance of misbehavior is out on the tabloids -- and reading this biography you get the sense that she didn’t really sign up for this. The biography ends with a positive note as the author says that people have an affinity for the pop princess and there is a genuine desire for her to do better. Despite her ups and downs the Britney Spears will not disappoint her adoring masses.

The Last Party: Studio 54, Disco and the Culture of the Night

Studio 54 has been referenced so many times in so many ways and The Last Party gives readers a detailed retelling of the machinery behind this iconic place as well as the other places which made up Nightworld -- the culture of glitz, glamour and excess that seems to hold sway when nighttime begins.

Apart from other clubs, The Last Party mainly details the rise and fall of New York’s glitziest and most notorious club, Studio 54. Opened in 1977 by Steve Rubell and Ian Schrager, two friends who have dipped into the bar business during the ‘70s. From the onset, this new venture was envisioned to be the “center of the universe,” the biggest club in the whole of New York City. A veritable fantasyland where hedonism is encouraged and the Nightlords (Steve and Ian) always pushed the club to its extreme. At a time when tens of thousands of New Yorkers would go out and party a few nights a week, Studio 54 became notorious for its disco vibe, themed parties and celebrity sightings. The doors would always be open to the gods and demigods of Hollywood, Rock & Roll and the art world -- the likes of Diana Ross, a young Michael Jackson, Andy Warhol, Elton John, Liza Minelli, Bianca Jagger and even Salvador Dali would enter thru its hallowed doors to dance the night away. The men guarding the velvet rope outside the club became wardens who would bestow entrance on hundreds of people lined outside for a chance to get in the club. Indeed, many people have been turned away, one man was advised to purchase an Armani jacket in order to get in which the man did, only to be denied entrance yet again. Other stories of a man being advised to go on a trip to Europe for a few months first before he could enter and another story of a married couple trying to get in where only the husband was allowed but the wife had to stay outside.

Inside was another story. True to form, the dance floor was the center of this universe where all the dancers seemed to be on stage together with so many celebrities. The VIP section was an absolute playground where all manners of excess were made available to those people lucky enough to gain entrance. All kinds of party drugs, excessive amounts of alcohol and sexual liberties could be found at the basement where the VVIPs would party the night away.

What's remarkable about this book is the energy that seems to radiate from its very pages. Disco has had its heyday which we will only ever see in karaoke bars but this book just pumps up the volume to a high screech which almost makes you want to cover your ears from the loudness of it all. The parties, the drugs, the sex, the lawlessness -- everything is maxed out to uber loud volume and makes you want to say, "hey i wish i could've partied like that."

Nightworld in New York City always pushed the extreme and none of the bars and nightclubs did it with more arrogance and style than the iconic Studio 54.

carpe diem

live richly.
make it count.
carpe diem.
make the most out of today.

i hear and see all these quotes and maybe it's just as well. it seems we are bombarded by these messages from forwarded emails we get from our friends, in cutesy postcards with kittens on it, on stuff in shop windows, in blogs and other things.

but what does it all mean, really?

i wake up in the morning, play with my cats, prepare breakfast for me and my husband, clean what i can, get ready for work, make sure i get my work done, eat well, exercise when i'm not too lazy, meet up with friends or go home to relax, sleep then do it all over again. sometimes i might feel like butting my head against a wall, or i might be pissed and angry at someone dear to me or just plain bored. i might go through the motions of my day to day, in and out the flow of traffic of cars, people, ideas, sound bytes, pleasure-moments and everything that may occupy the ticking seconds of my day... i might reflect on where i am in life especially when im jonesing cause my friends have more money than me, a higher status in life or a new toy i can't afford... i might be dissatisfied and declare that i should finally learn how to paint or make mosaics or baking cakes or take that road trip to that off the beaten track restaurant i've always wanted to go to -- but in the end, i feel like my life has gained varying shades and planes of perspective. despite that dreaded feeling that it wont be long before i start subtracting years from my actual age pretending to be younger or that fear that that ghost of a line i see under my eye will actually be very visible to other people -- i feel a sense of blessedness.

there is a passion in me (which might be taken to further heights if i did enroll in a salsa class, i guess i'll have to wait with bated breath) that comes out in everything i do. when i cook for my husband even if it's a flop, when i listen to my nieces talk about girly things, when i argue with my boss about this and that, when i read and imagine and have conversations with myself, when i dream about retiring in a beach house facing the sea, when i love. oh, when i love.

i can't help it. i love fiercely. deeply and with a passion i sometimes feel might not be contained within my body. sunsets. trees. my family. my friends. my work. books. music. art. poetry. all this. and more. so much more.

so yes, i guess i do know what it means to all those aphorisms. living richly, making it count, no day but today. i guess more than i originally thought i did.

a bit much

work has been occupying too much of my time. i don't want to complain seeing as i enjoy the work i do BUT times like these i just want to hide under a rock, lay still like a lizard under the sun and not move. my brain hurts from thinking, my eyes are constantly tired from lack of sleep and i feel like it's always rush hour. there hasn't been much time to do stuff thats really close to my heart like fix up our new home, have people over for a proper house-warming, honeymoon with my husband, try out my kitchen aid, learn a new hobby, explore....there's always so much to explore how i wish i could. a part of me wants march to come soon so this hell of a time can be over already but much needs to be done for my march event which i am not totally prepared for. aaaaahhhhh!!! please, please, some peace and quiet for a change. i remain a mere foot soldier... for now.